If I Said
by clawsandteeth
Summary: It began with her mother's affair, then divorce, then remarriage. Tori and Trina Vega's life will never be how it was.


I need reviews for this telling me if I should continue with it, because I'm not very sure. Anyway if you think I should, don't be afraid to give me any suffestions either.

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"Tori," A small voice whispers from beside her. The young woman opens her left eye to look at the child beside her – her half-sister. "I gotta pee…" The child bounces, her small hands still clasped together in prayer.

"You have to hold it, Bella." She whispers back, shifting a little. "We have another hour of prayer then you can use the bathroom and I'll cook you something."

The child bottom lip shakes and her large blue eyes fill with tears. "But I really have to go."

"Papa will be mad." She warns the child, and they both were aware that making Gary Johnson mad was something you tried not to do.

"I really gotta pee though."

Tori sighs and opens her eyes fully and stands in the limited area of their prayer closest. Grabbing the child's hand she cautiously opens the closet's door and looks out into the hallway for any sign of Gary. She turns to look down at the child. "Come on, girl before you mess up your dress."

She leads the child down the quiet hallway, they both move carefully to the tiny room at the end of the hall. "Hurry up now." She tells the four year old, ushering her into the bathroom. She waits outside for the child, smoothing down the yellow material of her ankle length skirt. Then her hands fumble to together as she waits on the child, her eyes drifting to the other end of the hall in which their stairs were.

The child returns a minute later, smiling sweetly at her older sister. Tori can't help smiling back at her sister. "Now come on let's get back." Quickly they return to their prayer closet and finish up. After, Tori leads the four year old downstairs to their tiny kitchen and seat her at a wooden table and pours her a glass of milk. She then fixes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, giving it to the child.

She then gathers up workbooks and set them in front of the child before taking a seat in a nearby chair. "When you finish, we're going to have to start on your school work." Her sister nods eagerly, taking a large bit of her sandwich.

She tenderly ruffles the child's long brown hair.

"Tori," the child says, half way through her math assignment.

"Hmmm?" Tori asks looking up from the book she was reading.

"Why can't I go to school? Did you go to school when you were little?"

Tori is slow to answer and shifts awkwardly, her eyes going to the wall clock over their sink. "Yes I went to school, a performing arts school called Hollywood Arts." She looks at the child sternly. "I loved it there, but Bella; do you remember what I said about not talking like that around Papa?"

The child nods sadly. Tori finishes homeschooling her sister in only two hours, then she ushers the girl to help her clean, giving her a dusting job. They folded clothes, washed dishes, and made the already tidy home even tidier.

Around three their mother returns – Holly – loaded down with grocery bags and two babies hanging off her hips and a pregnant belly. Tori relieves her load by taking the wailing little boy from her. She quietly quiets the boy, bouncing him as she follows her mom into their kitchen.

"How did Bella's lesson go today?" Her mother asked setting the younger boy down for he could toddler about and began putting away groceries.

"Well…" She quietly says, setting her brother on the counter, and grinning at him, making him smile back.

"Prayer closet went on with incident as well?"

Tori glances towards Bella who looks up from playing with Gabe, the little girl's eyes wide and fearful.

"Everything went fine, mom."

"Good," her mother smiles. "Are you going to help me with dinner tonight?"

The young woman nods and picking the child off the counter and setting him on the floor. "Do you think I can go help out at the homeless shelter later?" It was her only shot and only chance at ever getting out of the house.

Her mother frowns. "I dunno." The woman straightens her skirt. "You're going to have to ask Gary. Besides, who's going to help me get all the little ones to bed?"

Tori's jaw clenches. _Maybe if you hadn't of had three babies in the last four years you could do it yourself, mom. _The young woman bitterly thinks. "I'll be back by then." She instead says.

Her mother sighs. "Alright, let me call Gary." Her mother reaches into her pocket and dials the man's number. "Gary, it's me Holly. Tori has something to ask you." Her mother hands her the cell phone.

Tori swallows before taking the cell phone, "Gary." She greets. "Can I go help out at the homeless shelter today?"

"Are you're chores done?"

"Yes sir," she calmly says.

"Will you be back in time to get the children to bed?"

"Yes sir," she answers.

"Then I give my permission. You may return the cell phone to your mother now."

She hand her phone back over to her mother and wastes no time, grabbing up the car keys. She would hate it for them to change their minds.

"I'll see you guys when I get back." She quickly kisses the children before escaping outside.

Once in the car, she contemplates taking the car and to drive away, out of LA, out of California altogether and never looking back. But like always, reality is too heavy, Gary's a cop, she has no money, her mother and the children need her. She can't leave.

Then she begins to resent her mother for cheating on her Dad with Gary, getting pregnant, getting a divorce, getting married, getting pregnant again, again, and again. She begins to resent her mother for letting Gary beat up on her, letting Gary talk her into wearing skirt and praying for three hours a day, for driving Trina away, for making her have to stay here.

SA

Tori set a paper plate in front of a scruffy dirty man, wearing a thin dirty T-shirt and a pair of cream colored shorts.

"What happened to your jacket?" The girl asks dryly, taking a seat across from the man. He looks up and behind all the filth and scruff is David Vega. The only reason she volunteers at the nearby homeless shelter is in hopes of seeing her father.

He gives her a small smile, the woman can't bear to return. "How's your mother?"

"Pregnant," the girl answers simply. It's sad, her mother cheated on him, practically stole everything from him, but he asks about her first.

"How many is it now?" He laughs a little.

"Four with this one, more later, Gary doesn't believe in birth control."

"What about Trina, how is she?"

"Trina left, two years ago." She lightly reminds him. Trina couldn't take anymore and she left. Tori wished she would have thought about it and done it first, then it would be Trina stuck here.

"Oh yeah, that's right."

The young woman looks at the wall clock. "I have to be getting back."

"Alright honey," he weakly smiles. He absolutely reeks of alcohol. She gets up with to long of a look and leaves. She then stops by a payphone and dials a familiar number she calls a lot but never really gets an answer. Today, she actually gets one.

"Hello?"

"Trina…" Tori says relieved to hear her sister's voice. At Trina's silence the girl continues. "How are you?"

"I'm not coming back and if you were as smart as you think you are you would leave too."

"I'm not asking you to come back. Are you alright? Are you eating?"

Trina's quiet for a while. "I'm fine," the girl snaps. "How about you Tori? Gary still beats the living shit out of you and mom? Mom had any more babies with the fucking pervert?"

"Yes and yes," she answers truthfully. "They had another little boy named Michael and she's pregnant again."

"Damn…" Trina mumbles. Then she quietly sighs. "Seriously Tori if you want to leave I can give you my address. Let mom lie in the bed she made, it's not your responsibility."

"I wish it was that easy."

"It is…"

"No it's not." Tori snaps. "Bella would be eaten and spit out by Gary, and we both are aware at how well mom protects her kids. I just can't let that happen to her."

"How is Bella?" Trina asks quietly.

"Growing, she's smart too." Tori says with a small smile. "Gentle and kind, I don't want that to change." Her eyes go to the quickly blackening sky. "I have to go. I hope we can talk again and more."

"Yeah, of course."

She hangs up.

Back at home the children are crying, Gary's car isn't in their driveway, her mom is sitting on the couch nursing a blackened eye. The young woman sighs as she closes their door behind her, picking up Michael and bouncing the wailing boy. Bella looks at her from around the couch.

"You guys eat?" Tori asks Bella who shakes her head. "Alright, go sit at the table with Gabe. Mom, will you like anything to eat?"

"No honey, I'm fine."

Nodding, she begins to fix a few sandwiches for Bella and Gabe and feeds Michael oatmeal. She then ushers them off to bed, changing them into their pajamas, changing the boy's diapers, and singing to Bella who shared a room with her. She goes back and forth on going to help her mother to bed and decides today she can't. Instead she gets her own self ready for bed and hides under her covers until Bella asks her a question.

"Did you have a lot of friends at Holly Arts?"

"Yes"

"What happened to them?"

"I dunno they should be out of college by now." She closes her eyes, remembering her friends faces.

"Will papa hit you today too?"

"I… I don't think he will."

"Will he hit me?"

"I won't let that happen. Now, go to sleep, Bella."

(H)

"Tori!"

The young woman groaned, running her hand through her hair staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, the bags under her eyes. Light tugging on her skirt made her look down at a grinning Bella, toothpaste foam all over her mouth.

"Is this right?" The child asks, clutching her bright yellow toothbrush in her hands.

Tori smiles weakly and nods, picking the child up and letting her spit into their sink. A wail becomes louder outside the bedroom

"Tori!" Her mother's voice makes her cringe. Gently setting Bella down she exits the bathroom and into the hall and is quickly handed a wailing Michael. "Can you get them breakfast? I have to go get Gary's clothes out of dryer."

"Sure mom…" Tori said automatically, trying to quiet the crying boy.

Her mother gives her a thankful smile. "I have no idea what I would with without you, Tori." She's gone moving quickly downstairs to the laundry room.

"Bella, can you get Gabe for me?"

Tori begins cooking eggs for the children and distributed them out among them and watched them eat, not in the mood to eat herself. She felt worn out, completely drained. She couldn't fall asleep last night.

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